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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

One year ago today, July 20th, 2015 at 1:01 am, you transitioned into spirit. This is the day my life came to a halt. It has been one year since I’ve been called “mama.” One year since I’ve heard “mama I love you.” I miss your bear hugs that would take out my back. What I’d give for one of those. I miss kissing you on top of your head just because, as I’d walk by your chair. Now I just walk by your chair and cry. I miss hugging you and watching you play with your team in gaming matches. How I miss going to the movie theater and getting our popcorn and blueberry slushies. Our weekly Friday night family horror movie fests. I miss every fiber of your being.

William was happy and he asked for very little in life. He loved to cook, laugh and had a sense of humor about almost everything. He loved life to the fullest. He loved his family and his 4 legged girl Mea', who owned his heart. He had a good heart, a pure spirit, a kind soul and loved all animals! I don't believe he ever hurt a soul because that was not in his nature. He saw the best in everyone. He loved the holidays starting from Halloween through Jan 1st.

William was the best son any parent could have been blessed with. We were & still are so very proud of him. He was the strongest person I will ever know. He always had a smile on his face. He never let his health condition damped his spirit. He was simply amazing.

He was a published critical review writer, editor, aspiring producer/director, a professional gamer who was a member on one of the top pro teams and a top computer tech. AND yes, he was an avid collector of all things Transformers. He loved Transformers from the first cartoon aired to the first transformer figure released. And yes…he was proud to be a nerd! He took 2nd place at the BotCon Film Festival in Pasadena and he was beaming with excitement when he accepted his 2nd place ribbon and certificate.

We planned our yearly trips to BotCon the day after the last one would end. In 2015 he planned to have his transplants, and his BIG wish was to jump in the POOl at the next BotCon. He didn’t get his second chance at life with new organs.

How have I survived? I’ve only survived because William has guided me to a path that has brought a spark of hope back into my life with a new project. I’ve never had anything fall into place so easily and I wasn’t even looking or considering a new project. Along with William leaving us a number of signs. Signs that can’t be debunked. I’ve been lucky to have two of the most AMAZING readings anyone could have every asked for. They were pure evidential readings. Readings with information that no one would know. Not unless you had a camera or microphone in our house or hospital room.

William was and still is my heart & soul. He was my life and my sunshine. My sunshine set forever one year ago today. In my eyes William is the most precious gift given to me and always will be…and now in spirit.

We will forever love & miss his physical presence. Our hearts still are broken and tears fall daily. Half my heart died when you transitioned and my other half is shattered. My life will never be the same. I still can’t think of my life without you being here with us physically. I don’t think I will ever heal not having you here physically. But I am so grateful for all the signs and guiding me to a project that has brought a spark of hope. A hope that will help others who have lost children and loved ones. Thank you for guiding me William. You loved sitting around the campfire. The big campfire we had last night into the early morning hours... it was for you.


One year ago today, July 20th, 2015 at 1:10 am, you transitioned into spirit. This is the day my life came to a halt. It has been one year since I’ve been called “mama.” One year since I’ve heard “mama I love you.” I miss your bear hugs that would take out my back. What I’d give for one of those. I miss kissing you on top of your head just because, as I’d walk by your chair. Now I just walk by your chair and cry. I miss hugging you and watching you play with your team in gaming matches. How I miss going to the movie theater and getting our popcorn and blueberry slushies. Our weekly Friday night family horror movie fests. I miss every fiber of your being.

William was happy and he asked for very little in life. He loved to cook, laugh and had a sense of humor about almost everything. He loved life to the fullest. He loved his family and his 4 legged girl Mea', who owned his heart. He had a good heart, a pure spirit, a kind soul and loved all animals! I don't believe he ever hurt a soul because that was not in his nature. He saw the best in everyone. He loved the holidays starting from Halloween through Jan 1st.

William was the best son any parent could have been blessed with. We were & still are so very proud of him. He was the strongest person I will ever know. He always had a smile on his face. He never let his health condition damped his spirit. He was simply amazing.

He was a published critical review writer, editor, aspiring producer/director, a professional gamer who was a member on one of the top pro teams and a top computer tech. AND yes, he was an avid collector of all things Transformers. He loved Transformers from the first cartoon aired to the first transformer figure released. And yes…he was proud to be a nerd! He took 2nd place at the BotCon Film Festival in Pasadena and he was beaming with excitement when he accepted his 2nd place ribbon and certificate.

We planned our yearly trips to BotCon the day after the last one would end. In 2015 he planned to have his transplants, and his BIG wish was to jump in the POOl at the next BotCon. He didn’t get his second chance at life with new organs.

How have I survived? I’ve only survived because William has guided me to a path that has brought a spark of hope back into my life with a new project. I’ve never had anything fall into place so easily and I wasn’t even looking or considering a new project. Along with William leaving us a number of signs. Signs that can’t be debunked. I’ve been lucky to have two of the most AMAZING readings anyone could have every asked for. They were pure evidential readings. Readings with information that no one would know. Not unless you had a camera or microphone in our house or hospital room.

William was and still is my heart & soul. He was my life and my sunshine. My sunshine set forever one year ago today. In my eyes William is the most precious gift given to me and always will be…and now in spirit.

We will forever love & miss his physical presence. Our hearts still are broken and tears fall daily. Half my heart died when you transitioned and my other half is shattered. My life will never be the same. I still can’t think of my life without you being here with us physically. I don’t think I will ever heal not having you here physically. But I am so grateful for all the signs and guiding me to a project that has brought a spark of hope. A hope that will help others who have lost children and loved ones. Thank you for guiding me William. You loved sitting around the campfire. The big campfire we had last night into the early morning hours... it was for you.


Monday, July 18, 2016

The One Year mark of your Transition is near...

Half my heart died with you and the other half is shattered forever. What helps me survive everyday...knowing you are here with us in spirit. How do I know this... from your signs and messages you send us. All the energy you must use to send us the signs and messages to ease our pain and grief. We are so grateful. Your physical presence is missed every second of everyday and there hasn't been a morning, afternoon or evening I don't break down in tears...missing your physical presence. I'll start sharing signs and messages we've received from William in the August blog.

Friday, January 1, 2016

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON ~IF ROSES GROW IN HEAVEN

For my son’s Birthday today...

If roses grow in heaven,

Lord pick a bunch for me,

place them in my son's arms,

and tell him they are from me.

Tell him I love him and miss him,

and when he turns to smile,

place a kiss upon his cheek,

and hold him for a while.

Because remembering him is easy,

I do it every day,

but there is an ache within my heart that will never go away.

Happy Birthday, Billy! We love you so much and we miss you every minute of every day.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Missing you at Christmas, Billy. You were my heart & soul. You were my life. Our hearts go out to those who are missing someone on this Christmas Day.

Friday, October 30, 2015

For all who will be missing their child or loved one tomorrow!

This will be the first Halloween without you. We’re supposed to be in our temporary home near the hospital getting ready for Halloween tomorrow.

But we are not!

We are at home without our beloved son William aka (Thalack known to the gamer community). We will set a place next to your chair and table with the traditional apple cider, a plain cake doughnut & caramel popcorn. We will watch the horror movies we all loved so much. We know you will be joining us in spirit and this is the only reason we’ll be doing this for Halloween. But it will not be the same knowing you will not be here with us in physical form. We will miss seeing you play your competition games with your friends and noticing all the fun Halloween extras the gamers added in for the day.

Our hearts goes out to all who will be missing their child or a loved one tomorrow as we see all the Halloween costumes and those celebrating. We will have our memories tomorrow!

Friday, October 23, 2015

In Memory of William aka Thalack, I can only hope today's blog will INSPIRE in his name! Even if it's only one person & a life saved!

*BE PROACTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR LOVED ONES CARE WHEN THEY ARE IN THE HOSPITAL!

*BE PROACTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR LOVED ONES CARE BEFORE THEY END UP IN THE HOSPITAL!

*Ask questions! Don’t ever be afraid or shy away from asking questions about your loved ones care and make sure to get information on ALL the medications that are prescribed to them!

*Ask about procedures!

*Research…Research…Research! You have the whole web to get information from. It will at least make you think and give you the ambition needed to start making a list of questions to ask!

You can be proactive by researching procedures done to a loved one and don’t have to feel like you are in the shadows and your opinion does not matter. Because, it’s okay to question and challenge doctors and nurses (Even the hospital staff). NOT ALL DOCTORS OR NURSES ARE THE SAME! Like so much in life there are good and bad apples. “EGOS” OFTEN GET INVOVLED THAT CAN HAVE A DETRIMENTAL OR LIFE THREATENING RESULT ON A LOVED ONE OR FRIEND. Be INSPIRED! Be PROACTIVE!

**Example: Let’s say hypothetically a Remodulin dose was lowered by half in the hospital within a day. The order was given by one of the transplant teams. Yet, here is what the Remodulin site says …

"Avoid abrupt withdrawal or sudden large reductions in dosage of Remodulin, which may result in worsening of PAH symptoms. Titrate slowly in patients with hepatic or renal insufficiency because such patients will likely be exposed to greater systemic concentrations relative to patients with normal hepatic or renal function."

Hypothetically the surgeon is unaware this order was given by doctors on the floor. When he/she is informed he/she wants to know who gave the order! He/She then makes sure all the doctors on the floor taking care of the hypothetical patient know, “this could cause irreversible decompensation to hypothetical patient’s lungs.”

Not only do they lower the dose of the hypothetical patient, when they revert to IV instead of sub-q, they again didn’t follow suggestions posted on the Remodulin site.

"Remodulin offers continuous intravenous (IV) infusion with the stability of a 4-hour half-life.1 With the IV administration; a flexible catheter is surgically placed into a central vein in the chest
."

The Remodulin is instead given through the IV in the hypothetical patient’s arm.

The surgeon is unaware the doctors on the floor are lowering hypothetical patient’s Remodulin dose until he/she comes in and is asked by hypothetical parent if he knew about it, and had given this approval. Hypothetical surgeon didn’t know…not until it was brought up to him/her. I REPEAT “ASK QUESTIONS,MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS ON THE SAME PAGE!

*Most hospitals now have accounts that you can sign into to keep track of your loved ones lab tests and procedures. KEEP TRACK OF THIS!

*There are a number of hospitals that will allow you to stay with your loved one 24/7. If you’re at a hospital that allows this…”DO IT! Take turns with family members.”

*If you feel something isn’t right and you aren’t getting satisfactory answers to your questions from the hospital staff, nurses, doctors; start calling for outside help. Ask friends, ask other family members, ask co-workers if they have a doctor they know that you can speak with or know of anyone who might be able to help. Maybe someone at a Patient Advocacy group, company, or Patients Frist org.

*Get a second or even a third opinion if your instinct is kicking in telling you… something feels wrong. It could end up that you need to get your loved one transferred to another hospital.

*Call a meeting with all doctors, nurses & immediate hospital staff if you are getting different stories!

* Keep detailed notes! Write everything down. Times, Dates, Names, Remarks, etc. If you can film on your phone do it! If you’re in a State that allows one person consent to record… DO IT!

*There are Patient Advocacy companies that you can call for help if need be.

*There are Patient Advocacy groups that you can reach out to.

*There are Patient First and Patient Safety groups, orgs.

When it comes to your loved one in the care of doctors, nurses and a hospital… be INSPIRED …TO BE PROACTIVE!!!
Until next week….